Forgiving Abusive or Neglectful Parents (Part 2)

For many, forgiving parents will undoubtedly be difficult; particularly in cases where a parent was abusive.

However, it is in these cases that we must be even more diligent about practicing forgiveness. To not do so and to choose to continue to live in the grip of what happened means that a part of one’s self must still mentally dwell upon the abuse, even if in our subconscious.

In doing so, the exact same feelings created by the abuse are allowed to continue and we constantly relive these horrible events in order to keep those feelings fresh and alive.

So then, even when a parent never apologizes or takes responsibility for her or his actions, consciously releasing bitterness associated with their memory and endeavoring to forgive them, instead, allows us the freedom to overcome the abuse and stops its control over our lives.

We are all  familiar with the phrase “Time heals all wounds?” This is one I often hear people say as they try to brush aside traumas and hurts in their lives. In all actuality, time doesn’t heal anything, time simply passes. It is what we do with our lives while time is passing that either helps us, heals us or keeps us stuck.

Forgiving does not condone what someone else did, it simply releases us from the pain of their actions and sets us free.

(to be continued)

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About Sue Salach

Sue has a Master's degree in Gerontology and has worked with the elderly and their families for over 30 years and is the Author of "Along Comes Grandpa", a caregiving resource guide, and the novel "If I Walked in Her Shoes". As an ElderCare Expert and Keynote Speaker, Sue employs her comprehensive experience and passion, to educate and promote self-care values to family caregivers and the community at large.
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