Reconcilliation and Your Well-Being

Growing up my family was very close. In typical Italian style, every Sunday was spent at my grandparent’s home in Chicago where random aunts, uncles and cousins (most of which lived on the same block) gathered for an amazing feast. My grandfather, the middle child of 5 had a younger brother named Chris who I had never met. Chris was rarely mentioned and when he was it was with a tone of bitterness. Confused by the paradox between the closeness of the family and the outcast of one member I once asked my grandmother why Chris was not a part of our close-knit group. She quickly replied that there had been a “falling out” and then promptly changed the subject.

Unfortunately for my grandma, I had a simple, yet profound follow-up question, “what happened?” To my surprise, she didn’t quite remember all that had happened but knew that it was bad enough to “break up the family”. I later heard that the “incident” involved Chris’s wife making a comment to someone else about my grandma, which had then been relayed to my grandpa through a third-party and therefore caused the rift. Shortly before my grandma’s death my grandpa and his brother reconnected and reconciled, at this point neither could tell you why they had stayed apart so long.

I share this example because, as an adult, I comprehend that the 30+ year divide was based on hear-say most of which most likely included Italian dramatization of the actual event. To some this may seem extreme, however; in my 20 year career I have met hundreds of families torn apart by a random comment, perceived offense or imaginary conflict. Stressed out people, especially those caring for an elderly loved one can misinterpret the comments and actions of others. In many cases, instead of trying to clarify the facts a grand story is created about the other person’s actions and intentions.

When we are in conflict with others, the conflict is really where we are. Many times the other person doesn’t even know that there is a conflict. The stress from these family feuds, if allowed to fester can cause major health issues. However; if addressed in a timely manner can more often than not be cleared up quickly.

Points to Ponder

  • Is there someone in your family that you are in conflict with?
  • If you looked at the facts of the incident(s) that caused the conflict what part did you play in the conflict?
  • What would you have to “give-up” in order to resolve the conflict?
  • What would become easier in your life if you were no longer a part of this conflict?

To really answer these questions one must first leave their pride outside and take responsibility for their part in the conflict. However; if able to realistically evaluate the situation and allow yourself to forgive others and be reconciled with them, you will be amazed at how much lighter you will feel.

About Sue Salach

Sue has a Master's degree in Gerontology and has worked with the elderly and their families for over 30 years and is the Author of "Along Comes Grandpa", a caregiving resource guide, and the novel "If I Walked in Her Shoes". As an ElderCare Expert and Keynote Speaker, Sue employs her comprehensive experience and passion, to educate and promote self-care values to family caregivers and the community at large.
This entry was posted in against all odds, boomers, caregiving, encouragement, forgiveness, work/life/flex, working caregiver and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

17 Responses to Reconcilliation and Your Well-Being

  1. I gotta bookmark this website it seems invaluable very helpful

    Like

  2. Hey There. I found your blog using msn. This is a very well written article. I will make sure to bookmark it and come back to read more of Reconcilliation and Your Well-Being TheWorkingCaregiver . Thanks for the post. I will definitely comeback.

    Like

  3. Superb! Generally I never read whole articles but the way you wrote this information is simply amazing and this kept my interest in reading and I enjoyed it.

    Like

  4. Undeniably consider that that you stated. Your favorite justification seemed to be on the web the simplest factor to be aware of. I say to you, I certainly get annoyed whilst people think about worries that they just do not understand about. You managed to hit the nail upon the top as well as outlined out the entire thing without having side-effects , other people could take a signal. Will probably be back to get more. Thanks!

    Like

  5. I truly appreciate this post. I have been looking everywhere for this! Thank goodness I found it on Bing. You have made my day! Thanks again!

    Like

  6. Definitely imagine that which you said. Your favourite reason appeared to be on the internet the simplest thing to take into accout of. I say to you, I certainly get irked even as other folks think about concerns that they plainly do not recognize about. You managed to hit the nail upon the highest and also defined out the whole thing with no need side effect , folks can take a signal. Will likely be back to get more. Thank you!

    Like

  7. I blog often and I seriously thank you for your information. The article has really peaked my interest. I am going to book mark your blog and keep checking for new information about once a week. I subscribed to your Feed too.

    Like

  8. I just could not leave your website prior to suggesting that I really enjoyed the usual information a person provide in your visitors? Is going to be again frequently to investigate cross-check new posts.

    Like

  9. Robt Vidana says:

    Everything is very open with a precise description of the challenges. It was really informative. Your website is very useful. Many thanks for sharing!

    Like

  10. Very nice post. I just stumbled upon your blog and wished to say that I’ve truly enjoyed browsing your blog posts. After all I will be subscribing to your feed and I hope you write again soon!

    Like

  11. is hydroxycut safe says:

    theworkingcaregiver.org has interesting content

    Like

  12. Valeria says:

    Was actually checking the internet with regard to just the same topic. Wonderful thing I happened at this site. It’s unquestionably useful and interesting.

    Like

  13. You have noted very interesting details ! ps decent web site.
    Very interesting information!Perfect just what I was looking for!

    Like

  14. jon says:

    Does your website have a contact page? I’m having problems locating it but, I’d like to shoot you an email. I’ve got some recommendations for your blog you might be interested in hearing. Either way, great site and I look forward to seeing it grow over time.

    Like

  15. jon says:

    I must show my appreciation to this writer for rescuing me from this type of instance. After checking through the the web and meeting advice which were not helpful, I was thinking my life was done. Being alive without the approaches to the issues you’ve solved through your review is a critical case, and the ones which may have in a wrong way affected my entire career if I hadn’t come across your website. Your personal expertise and kindness in playing with almost everything was very useful. I don’t know what I would have done if I hadn’t come across such a step like this. It’s possible to now look ahead to my future. Thanks so much for the reliable and result oriented guide. I will not think twice to suggest the sites to any individual who would need direction on this area.

    Like

    • AgingInfoUSA says:

      Thanks Jon. It’s very humbling to hear that my blog is helping people. My purpose in life is to share information and resources that help others through challenging life events. Keep going, there is a bigger plan for your life!

      Like

Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s