One of my husbands’ favorite movies is “Happy Gilmore” a story about a rowdy boy, who was raised by his grandmother. He wants to be a hockey player but isn’t because of one thing, he can’t skate.

When his grandmother’s house is foreclosed cause of her failure to pay her taxes, and she’s placed in a retirement home, Happy must try and find a way to make some money.

One day while at a driving range, he discovers that he can hit a golf ball a hundred feet, so the range pro, convinces him to try being a pro golfer. Reluctant at first, because he considers himself a hockey player, but when he learns he can make a lot of money, he gives it a try and surprisingly, in addition to his amazing driving ability, his antics have made him the darling of the crowd. Shooter McGavin the tournament leader, thinks that Happy’s an embarrassment and is jealous that he is stealing his spotlight, tries to get him thrown out or get him to quit (We seem to all have these characters in our lives taunting us).

Now Happy (Adam Sandler) has real anger issues and it comes out during this tournament. His hockey coach from years ago reminds him “Find your happy place, Happy” to get him back on track – to keep him in a state of calm. I recently heard someone call them “joy triggers” that help us get through the tough spots in life.

So often we focus on what is not working in our lives instead of what is because both are actually happening. Somehow, when we take the focus off of US and focus on others and give back to others, we feel fulfilled. We find meaning. Aren’t we really here for others?

I remember years ago when working in the nursing home, I would have my then, 10 year old daughter, come and help with activities and interact with the residents. She still remembers that time and has such passion for giving back to those especially in the nursing homes.

Teaching our children and learning ourselves to give back, to work at a food bank, a nursing home, or in other capacities within society helps shift our focus – therefore bringing balance and peace into our chaotic lives.

So the next time you feel agitated, angry, and all out of whack – find your happy place. Find that thing that brings back the peace and calm in your life – it will most likely be a memory of helping someone else and reaping the inner reward.

UPDATE: I was in Vegas last week and actually saw “Shooter McGavin” from the movie Happy Gilmore. No, not really. But met a new friend who really favors him – and while at Denny’s having a 1:30 am breakfast, the waitress asked to get his picture (she really thought it was him) for her Dad who was a huge fan.