The ultimate act of love

There are no two ways about it: Taking care of an aging parent is physically and emotionally draining. It is lonely, overwhelming and frustrating. You may think you can’t do it any longer. Parents or siblings often don’t acknowledge or appreciate all that you do. Caregiving seems thankless. You give up your life for another, and no one seems to notice.

Despite all this, you continue on. You wake up every day to face new challenges. You keep going. Why? Because you care. You give up your life to care for another. That is the ultimate act of love. It is a selfless, noble and generous thing to do – one that many people wouldn’t take on. We do it for our children, our mates and our parents.

Give credit where credit is due

So give yourself some credit. You are doing one of the most difficult, yet important jobs in the world. And you’re not getting paid to do it. Realize how important your role as a caregiver is.

In times of grief, it is difficult to imagine how in the world caregiving can be seen as a positive experience. But look a little deeper and you will find the silver lining in your clouds. Think of all the memories you have, though some may be difficult or negative, you were given the gift – even if it appeared quite the opposite of a gift. Think how much you have learned and grown from these experiences.


Caregiving is uncharted territory. You probably were thrust into the role suddenly and were unprepared. There are no courses on how to be a good caregiver. But somehow, you figured it out. You do your best. Caregiving is an accomplishment. And you had what it takes.

Rewarding experience

Even with a difficult parent, caregiving can be one of the most rewarding experiences of your life. When you’re in the day-to-day trenches of caregiving, it may not seem very rewarding. But looking back someday, you will probably think that caregiving was one of the most gratifying times of your life.

When we get out of the “I, Me, My, Myself” mode we can see clearer that life is not really all about “me”…..but laying down one’s life for another, the ultimate act of love.

(taken from a previous post entitled “6 Reasons to appreciate your role as Caregiver”)

About Sue Salach

Sue has a Master's degree in Gerontology and has worked with the elderly and their families for over 30 years and is the Author of "Along Comes Grandpa", a caregiving resource guide, and the novel "If I Walked in Her Shoes". As an ElderCare Expert and Keynote Speaker, Sue employs her comprehensive experience and passion, to educate and promote self-care values to family caregivers and the community at large.
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3 Responses to The ultimate act of love

  1. Sandy says:

    This is so very true. I cared for my husband before he passed from cancer. It was at the time the worst days of my life but as I look back on it I realize how deeply it changed me for the better. To care for another in their time of need is the most important thing one can do. Thanks for writing this, it brought a tear to my eye.


    • Susan Avello says:

      I’m sure that is one of the toughest things, Sandy. Kudos to you! It seems our darkest hour while we’re in the middle of it, and we come through and see the awesomeness of having been given the gift of love and care for another – all the same.


  2. AgingInfoUSA says:

    There are some great resource books that can help!


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